The Magic of Choosing Connection

There’s something magical about consciously choosing to prioritize human connection. It’s about those random run-ins in the woods that turn into three-hour heart-to-hearts. It’s about finally joining that ice bath circle you’ve been thinking about, or saying yes to weekend hikes with people you don’t yet know well—you will afterward! The hiking part? – That’s right, I did that last weekend. It was way fun! And the random friend from high school I met before Christmas? – We’ve already set up a date to hang out, and have been sending messages back and forth. The magic? — It’s already working!

It’s the Quality of Connections

You’ve heard this one, right? The longest study on happiness found that good relationships literally keep us alive longer—and happier. Yes, that’s right, Harvard has been tracking people for 80+ years! Dr. Robert Waldinger, who currently leads this historic research, puts it simply: it’s not money, not fame, not even our genes—it’s the quality of our connections that predicts who thrives. Our bodies and minds literally function better when we’re surrounded by people we trust and love.

We All Know It’s True: It’s the Little Things

Friendship isn’t just about the big moments—it’s hidden in the small gestures. It’s sending that “thinking of you” text when something reminds you of someone. It’s dropping off stew when they’re home sick or exhausted. Picking up your friend’s kids if you know they’re in a tight spot. It’s remembering how they like their coffee. It’s showing up, even when life gets messy. It’s not being afraid to speak freely when you feel hurt.

Peers Aren’t Your Only Friends

And let’s talk about friendship beyond your peers—there’s something beautiful about having friends who are decades older (or younger). Each brings unique wisdom, energy, and a fresh way of seeing the world.

I have a friend, for example, who used to be my dance teacher, and I still love going for coffee or on hikes with her. Two of my mom’s friends were like aunties when I grew up, and they’re still friends I visit and keep up with. These diverse connections keep our minds sharp and our perspectives fresh—something the Harvard researchers also found in their studies on healthy aging.

Connecting Friends: Interweaving the Tapestries of Life

We’re interweaving our own stories, family stories, and those of others. It’s beautiful to connect friends of friends with friends of friends—both in sending and receiving. Somehow, even when you don’t know someone personally, having that referral makes all the difference.

I remember inviting unknown friends of friends over for dinner and showing them around when I lived in Ethiopia. Or being the one connecting friends from different circles all over the world. To me, it helps me feel like I have a place anywhere in the world. 

Beyond the Digital: Connections that Truly Matter

In our hyper-connected world, it’s easy to fool ourselves into thinking we’re truly connected. We heart photos, post stories, and maybe even leave a quick comment. But when was the last time you had a conversation that made you lose track of time? Or called a friend just because something reminded you of them?

A couple of months ago, I got a package that completely surprised me. I struggled to put a face to the name—until I realized it was a thank-you from someone I barely know, in return for a thoughtful gesture from a while back. It was so heartwarming. True, genuine connection always is. And it makes us feel our common humanity.

To strengthen this virtue, I told myself: I will make it a point to support friendships this whole year.

My Commitment: Make 2025 the Year of Friendships

So in 2025, I’m breaking down the walls I sometimes build around myself. I’m choosing vulnerability. I’m saying, “I need you” and “I’m here for you” without hesitation. I will say yes more often—and also no when necessary. I’m actively holding space for people to feel seen, heard, dignified, and valued. And I will make it a point to connect with myself and my needs just as much as with that of others. (More on this here.)

Let’s be Brave

To everyone feeling lonely in this hyper-connected world—you’re not alone. Maybe 2025 is the year we all get a little braver about reaching out, a little more intentional about staying connected, and a lot more grateful for the souls who choose to walk beside us.

Your Invitation 

Make 2025 Your Year of Friendships

Join me in making 2025 your year of friendships too. Send that text you’ve been meaning to send. Plan that (mini) reunion you’ve been putting off. Join that class you’ve been eyeing. Reach out to that person who crosses your mind now and then. And talk to the stranger waiting in line who loves those oranges just as much as you do.

Because when we look back on our lives, it won’t be the degrees we earned or the personal achievements that matter most. It will be the connections we nurtured, the laughs we shared, and the hearts we touched along the way.

After all, as the Harvard researchers remind us, “Good relationships don’t just protect our bodies; they protect our brains.” And that’s worth investing in.

Who’s writing their own friendship story this year?