Hello Moms:

all Zen and Calm?

Becoming a mom turned the idea (and practice!) of zen and calm upside down. No longer did I practice yoga, meditate or even go for walks. Through my own journey from yogi to mom, I’ve uncovered six essential self-care practices inspired by Buddhism that have transformed my approach to motherhood. Let me share them with you, so you too can find balance and joy in this beautiful, challenging role. I learned that self-care is neither just an instagram fad nor a luxury —it’s a necessity. And yes, it can be practiced even as a young mom. And let me tell you how.

Self-care: A Luxury for Young Moms?

As a young mom, whether you’re caring for a newborn, a baby, or a toddler, one thing is certain: you’re extending yourself, pouring love, care, and tenderness into this new life. You do your utmost to accompany and guide them on their journey that has just begun. Amidst this thicket, you’ll probably reach a point where you notice that you don’t even know who you are anymore. You want to steer against the current, but it’s just so hard. How can you have an evening ritual when you’re exhausted and falling asleep while reading a good-night story? How do you fit in your morning yoga practice when you don’t even know what time they’ll wake up? In short, how do you find time for yourself when so much of your schedule seems out of your control? And the daily demands are so high that you struggle to make it through the day?

How I Hit a Wall as a Young Mom

As young moms, we often over-extend ourselves. When my baby was born, it felt natural and easy to be the loving, caring mom who tended to all my baby’s wishes. Once she turned into a walking, talking toddler, with emotional outbursts and growing needs beyond the physical, I noticed that my limits were quickly reached. There were moments I didn’t recognize myself – I got angry, feisty, pushy. I had fits and tantrums like a two-year-old. As it was, there was so much pressure to be a good mom, and I at times felt like I was failing that job. I had hit a wall and needed help. I knew I needed to figure out how to care for myself and stand my ground again. It took me a while, and there are still ups and downs, but I found ways to care for myself that are doable even at the busiest times. And because I wish I’d known these back when I was going to be a mom, I am sharing my top self-care tips with you.

My Top 6 Self-Care Practice Tips as a Busy Young Mom:

Self-Care Tip #1: Find Agreement in the Moment

The Power of Perspective

Seriously, this is a game-changer. Whether you’re tired, exhausted, angry, fed-up, or cross in any other way, your biggest problem is that you’re not in agreement. And when you’re not, everything feels heavier, more burdensome, more exhausting. You’d be in for a downward spiral – but there’s one way out that’s immediate and absolute: Ask yourself, what can I change about the current situation so I agree with it (a little more)?

Shifting Your Mindset

Even if you can’t change anything about the situation, you CAN change what it does to you. Is there a different perspective you can take? Can you give it a slightly different spin?

A Real Life Example

For example, you just got to bed and are woken up by your child. You can’t believe it – after a couple of bad nights in a row, you really need your sleep. You’re still half asleep and you’re upset: oh no, not again. It feels like a nightmare. What would help you at that moment? For me, it’s thinking, ‘Hey, she needs me. I’m so glad I can be there for her.’ After all, getting all riled up will make me more awake and less able to get back to bed. So I try to come up with ways I can agree with what’s out of my control at the moment. It also helps me to know, in my heart, that even if my child will never remember the exact details, she will grow up with a strong sense of what it means to be cared for, to be protected. Also, perhaps I can sneak in a half-hour nap the day after during lunchtime, I think to myself. And I get back to bed feeling good (or at least much better than being angry that this happened) and see how I can quickly fall asleep again.

This is just one example, and there are so many more. Try using the question ‘What can I do RIGHT NOW to agree with what’s going on?’ whenever you get into a situation that feels tight, and you will turn your mind in the right direction. It works wonders and applies in every situation.

Self-Care Tip #2: Celebrate Small Victories

Add in the Missing Ingredient: Joy

I’ve seen many a list of the top self-care practices. And what is missing in all of them is this simple practice: JOY. Your attitude makes all the difference. So rather than be annoyed at how little time you have for yourself or begrudge the things you can’t do anymore because you’re a mom (and how good life used to be, when you could do whatever you wanted whenever you wanted!), rejoice when you do manage to fit it in.

Savoring the Moments

Yes, actively celebrate that you just managed to squeeze in a cup of tea, a candle-light bath, a quick shower, a couple of pages, a walk, a moment on the sofa, a call with a dear friend, 10 minutes of yoga, a short meditation. Whatever it may be for you, take a moment (yes, a moment is all it takes) and remember how good it feels. Soak it in. Be present, just for this moment. And it can even be a moment when you’re with your child(ren).

Self-Care Tip #3: Model Self-Care for Your Child

The Ripple Effect of Self-Care

Wow, this one’s another biggie. And one that completely uprooted the idea of raising a child for me. I need to be me in order for my child to be able to be all she can be. If I don’t take care of myself, I role model that this is the proper way. Only when I take care of myself do I pass on the value of self-care to my child.

Growing Together

So, growing into this role of being a mom includes learning to take care of myself while being the best mom I can be. It’s of the utmost importance to take the time to figure out what your own (current) needs are and then be creative and find ways to fit them in despite whatever else is going on. And yes, these needs evolve. And yes, it may be very little that can be done at first or at times. We all have different ways to process and learn and grow. You should never feel guilty for putting yourself first or standing your ground. It’s imperative you do so, as it will show your child to do the same when they grow older. This will strengthen them and help them be who they want to be.

Self-Care Tip #4: Embrace the Impermanence of Phases

The Wisdom of “This Too Shall Pass”

When we’re feeling great, we want things to remain just like that, and then we lament when they pass. So, in a moment where nothing seems to go right and you’re at your wits’ end, remember that this, too, shall pass. I know, this might sound ridiculous. But it’s really helpful. Indeed, this nugget of Buddhist wisdom helped me again and again. It calms my mind to think – in the middle of a storm – that nothing stays the same.

A Personal Anecdote

Here’s an example: this summer, my three-and-a- half-year-old didn’t want to stay with anyone else but me. I was in a week-long workshop and two days in she returned to me. I couldn’t fully participate anymore. And this was just the beginning. No more daycare, no grandparents, no daddy. I was so frustrated at first, and the more clingy she got, the more I wanted to get away. But then I remembered, and it helped that I had all these years of proof that everything really was a phase. Just by telling myself that this, too, was probably a phase and would pass, I was able to relax my mind. I was able to look her in the eye and tell her how much I loved her, cuddle her and hold her and make her feel comforted. I was able to fulfill her needs and take care of myself. Was it great that I couldn’t participate and enjoy some me-time? – No, it wasn’t. But I found joy in taking care of myself and making myself comfortable with what was going on. And now, weeks later, she is again able to go out and be social. It was just a phase.

Self-Care Tip #5: Nurture Your Spiritual Growth

The Two-Way Street of Parenting

Philippa Perry, author of “The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read and Your Children Will Be Glad That You Did,” says it so well: you and your child, you have a relationship, and as a mom you let yourself be touched by your child. It’s not a one-way street, you will be changed by them. And if you spin that thought further, you notice you have this vast opportunity to grow. Being a mom provides you with never-ending possibilities for spiritual growth – so go ahead and make use of them.

Starting a Spiritual Practice

And if you haven’t yet developed a spiritual practice, now is the time to start it. (Now, you’re thinking — WHAAAAT? Now?!? – Yes, now.) One simple way to start is to connect with your breath. You can do that anytime, anywhere. And it will help you focus. Another practice I love and have found to be extremely helpful is to create space. Instead of narrowing down, feeling tightness, pressure and like-no-way-out, you will learn to feel vast, open, light and spacious. And the more you practice this, the more you will be able to apply it in challenging situations. Make friends with your mind and you will become calmer and more relaxed. You will develop a resilience that will strengthen you for the challenges to come. Whatever it may be for you, find the practice that speaks to you and dive right in.

Rekindling Old Practices

If you already followed some kind of spiritual practice before you had children, then go ahead and pick it up again. Even if it’s in a shorter, more condensed format.

You did yoga before you became a mom? – Great! Make that your practice. Perhaps you can find a short window of time to connect to yourself on the mat.

You meditated before you became a mom? – Wonderful! Make that your practice. See if you can start a one-minute practice once a day. And then perhaps see if you can up that practice whenever time allows.

Self-Care Tip #6: Banish Mom Guilt

Acknowledging Your Efforts

I bet that if you read this far, you are doing your very best to be there for your child. You are, indeed, the best mom for your child. And you can (and should, every now and then) pat yourself on the back for being such a great mom. What helped me a lot was to cut out the guilt. For whatever reason guilt shows up, it is not helpful. So, when I notice this feeling, I remind myself I am doing my best, smile to myself, and let go of the guilt.

Conclusion: Embracing Self-Care as a Mom

Being a mom is a beautiful, challenging, and transformative journey. By implementing these self-care tips, you’re not only taking care of yourself but also setting a powerful example for your child. Remember, self-care isn’t selfish – it’s essential for being the best mom you can be. Embrace the small moments, find joy in the everyday, and allow yourself to grow alongside your child.

And what about you?

Your Turn to Share!

What are your favorite self-care practices as a busy mom? Head over to my IG and share them!

Let’s support each other on this incredible journey of motherhood!

Like this article? Then check out some other posts on my blog, too!