The Magic Of Christmas ‘Back When’…

The scent of freshly baked cookies still brings me right back. Growing up in a small town in southern Austria, Christmas magic meant lighting advent candles, singing songs or reciting poems alongside cookie baking family time. I remember going over to our grandparents’ house where there was always a big tree, more cousins around, and we would light star sparklers outside, watching the magic with disbelief. I also remember seeing Dad sneaking out to head home and prepare. So we’d be surprised to find the presents under the tree… and the magic still felt real, even though my older brothers told me what was going on.

When Magic Meets Reality

Yet here we are, preparing for the next holiday season, and I notice a familiar pattern emerging around me. Some are already deep in the Christmas preparations, the house all decked out, crafting elaborate plans for perfect family celebrations—while others feel the familiar weight of the holiday blues settling in. Instagram feeds overflow with picture-perfect decorations and smiling families, while in conversations among friends, I hear talk of overwhelm, loneliness, or simply feeling out of sync with the forced cheer.

The truth is, both experiences – the magic and the blues – are equally valid parts of the holiday season. Some days we might feel the enchantment, and others we might question why everyone else seems so caught up in the festivities while we’re struggling to feel the spirit. What you’re experiencing is so tied-up with expectations, memories and hopes, it’s hard to untangle.

SPOILER ALERT: Free Workshop: “Holiday Harmony: Navigate Family Gatherings With Grandeur” on Thursday, December 5

The Modern Christmas Paradox

Just like everything else, the holiday season has become more complex than ever. We’re bombarded with messages about how we should feel, what we should do, and who we should be during this ‘most quiet’ time of year. Meanwhile, our phones ping with family group chats debating schedules, school and work deadlines keep coming up before the year is over, work parties add to the already overflowing schedules, and somewhere in between, we’re supposed to find that elusive spirit of peace and joy. ho, ho, ho?

When Children Enter the Picture

Ever since I became an aunt, Christmas has again become a very special time for me. My heart still melts at the memory of seeing my now 13-year-old nephew experience Christmas for the first time. And I’ve been super lucky that my family, thanks to my brother and sis-in-law, celebrates Christmas Eve as one big family. I’ve had the joy of watching all my nieces and nephews marvel at the magic. And now, here I am, my little one has joined the bunch. 

Yet even amidst this rediscovered children’s paradise, Christmas time brings its own complexity —the stress of preparation, the weight of organization, and perhaps most challenging, coming to terms with my own expectations.

The Pressure of Joy

Have you noticed how the pressure to feel joyful can actually make it harder to access genuine joy? I often feel stifled rather than elated. It’s as if the more the world insists we should be happy, the more we might feel disconnected from authentic ‘holiday’ feelings – whatever those might be for us.

This isn’t about being for or against holiday cheer. It’s about creating space for whatever genuinely arises during this season – the magic and the blues, the connection and the loneliness, the joy and the nostalgia. Because sometimes, the most magical moments come precisely when we stop trying to force them.

A turning point for me was when I realized that what I loved most about Christmas back when was the feeling of togetherness. 

What Is It Exactly, Your Story of Christmas?

I remember coming home from college abroad and all of us – my two brothers, my mom, my dad and I – were around, staying in the same house, and we’d be in and out the entire week or two around Christmas and New Years. Just hanging out. Back then, it didn’t even cross my mind that neither of my brothers were no longer living at home. I got home, things were ‘as usual,’ and I loved it. 

I loved hanging out on the sofa, cuddled up with a book and our cat, seeing the others discuss, play cards, cook or chill. Wow! So that feeling of comfort, coziness and safety, with no pressure to do or be, was the feeling I subsequently craved and tried to revive. In actuality, none of it had anything to do with Christmas. Once I realized how entangled this was with my hopes for another Christmas ‘just like it used to be,’ I took a close look at the story I had woven.

Finding Your Own Way

As a yoga teacher and mindfulness practitioner, I’ve learned that the key isn’t to chase the magic or fight the blues – it’s to develop the capacity to be present with whatever shows up. Some days that might mean singing Christmas songs in your kitchen, and others it might mean acknowledging how it all feels over-commercialized and fake.

This ability to stay present – regardless of whether we’re experiencing the magic or the blues – is what allows us to experience the holidays more fully, more authentically, and ultimately, more peacefully.

The Gift of Presence

Perhaps the greatest gift we can give ourselves this holiday season is permission – permission to feel what we feel, to celebrate in ways that feel genuine to us, and to find our own balance between the magic and the blues.

A Different Kind of Holiday Preparation

What if, instead of trying to force ourselves into either endless cheer or fighting against the season, we could find a middle way? A way that honors both the magic and the challenges of this unique time of year? 

For me, it was preparation that changed the narrative. And I mean not just physical preparation. I mean really setting aside time to look at what your story looks like. Could it be that yours is just as entangled as mine was? What are your expectations for the holidays, and are they realistic? What is it you can do to prepare for the upcoming celebration and change your narrative?

Now that I know that what I long for has nothing to do with Christmas itself, it’s a lot easier for me to set expectations for the upcoming festivities. And I choose my focus – for me, it’s being part of something that’s bigger than me, it’s striving to uphold the magic and the spirit, and not getting in the way (i.e., taking care of my own emotions).

Preparing for Connection

The truth is, most holiday stress comes from how we show up in relationships – with family, friends, and even ourselves. It’s not just about surviving family gatherings; it’s about creating meaningful connections while honoring our own boundaries and needs.

When we’re thrown together with family for extended periods, old patterns resurface quickly. That offhand comment from a sibling about your career choices. The way your brother-in-law organizes everything, making you feel somehow inadequate. Or maybe it’s the pressure of keeping your own child(ren) entertained while maintaining meaningful conversations with relatives you see only once a year. I’m right there with you.

Learn the Art of Holiday Preparation

What many don’t realize is that the key to harmonious holidays lies in preparation – not just the external kind involving gifts and decorations, but the internal kind that helps us. And wouldn’t you love to learn this art? Here’s what it involves:

• Navigate complex family dynamics with grace
• Stay centered when old triggers arise
• Create space for genuine connection
• Balance alone time with social engagement
• Honor your needs while being present for others

This kind of preparation isn’t about rehearsing responses or planning escape routes. It’s about developing tools that help us stay grounded and authentic in the moment, whatever that moment brings.

Setting Intentions, Not Just Expectations

Perhaps the most powerful shift we can make is from setting expectations to setting intentions. Expectations are rigid – they either get met or they don’t. And then the world may seem against you Intentions, on the other hand, guide us, help us — they help us navigate the complex territory of family gatherings.

Instead of expecting the perfect family dinner, we might set an intention to remain open-hearted. Rather than expecting everyone to get along perfectly, we might intend to be a calming presence. These subtle shifts can transform how we experience our holiday gatherings. And all good intentions aside — it helps to have a way to actually live your intentions.

Preparing Your Holiday Container, Writing Your Story

Think of your holiday experience as a container you’re creating. This container needs to be:

• Large enough to hold both joy and challenge
• Flexible enough to accommodate unexpected moments
• Strong enough to maintain your boundaries
• Soft enough to allow for genuine connection

When we prepare this container in advance – through mindful practices, emotional awareness, and practical tools – we create space for authentic holiday experiences to unfold naturally.

Your invitation

Your Invitation to Authentic Holidays – FREE WORKSHOP

If you’re feeling called to approach this holiday season differently – to find your own authentic way of experiencing this time of year – I invite you to join me for a special free workshop: Holiday Harmony: Navigate Family Gatherings With Grandeur.

Together, we’ll explore practical tools for navigating both the magic and the blues of the season, preparing yourself with simple, yet powerful embodiment tools, and a vision that takes you forward to stay calm, centered and open whilst enjoying the holiday cheer. 

Join me on Thursday, December 5th:

• 20:00 CET (Vienna)
• 7 PM GMT (London)
• 2 PM EST (New York)

Because sometimes, the most meaningful moments come when we embrace both the light and the shadow of the season. Join me and enjoy being the most grounded, compassionate family member at the gathering. Click here to find out more.