A River of Thoughts

Let me tell you a story. A zen master once took his student to a river. ‘Watch the water,’ he said. ‘See how the river flows, how each droplet comes, and passes and then disappears? Your thoughts are just like this.’ The student watched. And watched. And watched. Then, slowly, understanding dawned.

<<You can never enter the same river twice.>>

There’s a Buddhist saying that goes, “You can never enter the same river twice.” I love it. Not because I immediately got it, but because it took me a while to understand, and I laughed to myself when I got it.

The Overwhelm We All Feel

A lot of us are feeling overwhelmed and stressed. There seems to be no headspace left. Perhaps you feel like your to-do list could fill a book. This time just feels so rushed. Even if it’s not you, the whole world seems to be sucked into an ever-faster turning vortex. My head spins.

My Own Practice—Born from Vulnerability

I sometimes get asked, “But don’t you practice yoga and mindfulness, shouldn’t you be unperturbed by all this?” In fact, I practice yoga and Buddhist teachings simply because I am easily swayed by outside influences, not because my practice makes me immune to them.

My Gift to You

So, here’s my gift to you. A simple yet powerful practice inspired by Thich Nhat Hanh—a renowned Vietnamese Zen master who transformed how we understand mindfulness in the West—that helps me get my feet back on the ground.

The 3-Breath Pause: Your Mindful Reset

Here’s a simple tool. 3 Breaths make a mindful moment just for you. Simple, and wow. Powerful, but not easy.

The 3-Breath Pause is more than just breathing. It’s a radical act of self-compassion that interrupts your stress cycle and returns you to the present moment.

How to do it:

• First Breath: Acknowledge what you’re feeling without judgment

• Second Breath: Let go of the need to change anything

• Third Breath: Reconnect with your basic aliveness

Beyond Thoughts: Witnessing Your Inner River

To me, it helps me immensely to know it’s not me, to not identify with my thoughts but rather to know they’re not me. It helps me to know that we produce around 60,000 thoughts per day and we can let them pass like drops of water flowing down a river. Watching the river, witnessing it flow. Without seeing, counting, or commenting on every single drop of water.

WHAT!? Giving to Yourself First

As parents, we tend to give, give, give. We pour ourselves into our children, our work, our commitments. The other thing that’s become a scarcity for parents is moments to yourself. But in this constant outward flow, we forget the most crucial gift: compassion for ourselves. This isn’t selfishness—it’s a basic need. When our needs aren’t met and we’re constantly running on empty, we’re actually teaching our children that self-neglect is normal. When we as moms and as parents take good care of ourselves, our children will learn that that’s a most valuable way.

The Imperfect Practice of Presence

Let me be real with you: this practice isn’t some magical cure-all. Thich Nhat Hanh makes mindfulness sound effortless, but I know it’s not. It’s simple, but simple doesn’t mean easy. Some days, you’ll sit and your mind will feel like a circus. You might get frustrated. That’s okay. The practice isn’t about perfection—it’s about showing up. Just like playing the piano: the more I practice, the better it gets.

Don’t pressure yourself to “do it right.” Some days, these 3 breaths will feel like a lifeline. Other days, you might only manage the thought of it. But you will remember. That’s still a win. This isn’t about adding another task to your already overflowing list. It’s about giving yourself a powerful tool that will help you to pause, to breathe, to be.

The magic of giving to yourself

The greatest gift you can give yourself is simply this: presence. Not perfection. Not constant calm. Just the willingness to be with yourself, with all your parts, and know that all is well.